Tierd, bored, frustrated, moody, broke, broken, dis-enchanted, stepped on, ran over, sleepy, anti-social, pissed off, angry, angst filled, sad, happy, excited, rich, calm, safe, secure.... amazing how I can think of more "bad" things than good isn't it?

Way too early for me this morning, I've had a hard time waking up the last couple of day's, I'm not sure why. I wish I could blame it on drinking too much the night before, or staying up too late the night before. Had a good weekend, I saw several movies, Punch Drunk Love, Adaptation, and last night was About Schmidt, seems it was a dark comedy weekend. But all were decent films all-in-all. Not a ton else to say at the moment, it's early and I'm still trying to wake up.

Short week at work! One of the nice things about working at a bank, all Federal Holiday's are day's off!

"Is is true that the world is something that seem's to happen, somewhere else?" - New Model Army "Green And Grey"

No coffee in the house so I had to run to 7-11, boy did that remind me of Los Angeles, wake up throw on cloths, go and get breakfast from 7-11 come back hom enad start my day of work from the house. I can't decide if I liked working from home better than working at an office or not... Kind of completely different circumstances at this point honestly. I'm getting used to working at UMB more and more each day, and I'm getting used to being in Kansas City more and more as the day's go by. As of today its been 3 months since I stepped foot here, on one hand 3 months is a long time, but on the other its such a small amount of time.

Friday Five

1. How are you planning to spend the summer [winter]?

Getting out more than I used to, probably try and enjoy the weather while its good, since I now live where it gets cold and snowy / icy in the winters.

2. What was your first summer job?

Hrmm, working at my Brother In-Law's & Sisters Italian deli. I made pizza's basically for the summer.

3. If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?

Europe, take the train everywhere I could for as long as I could.

4. What was your worst vacation ever?

When I was a kid, (I can't remember what age) the family vacation was to Florida, ofcourse my Dad wouldn't fly anywhere so we drive, we had fun seeing the sites through most of the Southern States, but once we got to the "beach" it was nothing but cold and rainy the entire time. That sucked!

5. What was your best vacation ever?

Florida a couple of years ago, we went to ClearWater, spent the nights on a boat (a big one) and spent the day's goofing off in the sun at the pool, or on the beach. It was all Gulf side and it was amazing... we would wake up to coffee on the boat deck, watching dolphins play in the marina.

Sorry I haven't been as active as I would like to be, too many things going on at work / home at the moment. I'm beat, even though I just woke up I'm tierd, I wish I could just go back to bed for a few more hours, but no dice! Gotta go pay the bills...

This week went by fast so thats a good thing, oh and MyODBC Rocks! I used it to export an Access DB into MySQL and using MyODBC I could just export straight into MySQL without any problems, atleast so far that is.

Congratz go out to Brian "I am now officially a musician. One of the songs I wrote has been optioned for purchase by a sundance-award-winning documentarian to be included in his next film." That is the coolest!!!!!!!

You know what amazes me yet again about the new Mac "G5"? This is a quote from the apple website "The Power Mac G5 is the world’s fastest personal computer and the first with a 64-bit processor ..." Ahem.... PUH-LEEEEEEEEEZZZZzzz for the cash you would lay out for this G5 you could spend the same amount on EBay and get a few used Sun Ultra Sparcs, which *are* truely 64-bit processor's. I think the line between "server" and "personal computer" was blurred a while back. Then again most people don't realize that you could have an UltraSparc on your desktop running a flavor of Linux and accomplish just about everything you could with a few more grand and a G5, okay so the interface isn't as Dumbed down... er I mean "cool" but thats the breaks.

Oh well... I would like to have a simple G4, just enough to run OSX and play, or an ibook, but if I got another laptop I'm sure my body would be found somewhere in the woods mangled and in a shallow grave. I need / want a new monitor more than anything else at the moment, I'm at 17 inch's and its sooo small... blech.... I need to unload some of my gear now to make any sort of case for new equipment... Oh well.

Just had to Geek Rant for a moment.

A friend of mine is going through a very hard part of life at the moment, (well if you skip past the Erotica posts that is). He has lost a part of his family, something I have dealt with before, and will again in my life. Losing a pet is more than just losing a dog, cat, or whatever you choose as your companion, its losing a major part of joy and love in your life. Dog's (just because I have / had them) are a tremedous source of un-conditional love it your life they greet you with a smile and a wag of the tail, only wanting to love you, and in return we do our best even during difficult times to give them back just a small amount of what they give us day in and day out.

My parents just recently lost the last pet they had out of 2 cats, and 2 dog's from when I lived there. That was a long time ago, but I still feel the hurt. At that point in my life I wasn't much for "family", I was absorbed in what I was doing, everything surrounded me so I didn't get to know the animals they had very well. I have since had several pets, of which I loved every single one of them like a part of my family, I hope that the parts of my family that I had to leave behind in Los Angeles are doing well, and giving a smile to everyone they meet.

Okay now that I have thought about it all, I have a plan of action. I've noticed that when I'm given time to think about my life I get depressed, I tend to over analyze everything, which is probably a strength in my chosen profession, but in my life otherwise its really a pain in the butt... So here is the plan.

1) Figure out a worth while work out routine. Something that I can do everyday, or every other day.
2) Do small projects for myself.
3) Don't get all worked up over things I don't have control over.

Pretty simple huh? I'm thinking about trying out some other things as well to try and get a handle on things in my life, I just get overwhelmed and store it all up inside til I just melt... And let me tell you it isn't pretty, I have to clean it up.

On that note, I'm going to try a home brew flea mixture to get rid of the little bastards this evening, when I get outta work I'm off to buy 20 Mule Borax and go to town on the house. Fleas Fleas everywhere... From what I've heard this actually works, you just sprinkle it all on the carpets / furniture / etc... let it sit for 24 hours (some people just leave it there) and vacuum the heck out of it all, from everything I'm getting this works pretty much. I'm going to give it a shot.

I'm also going to get started on the new network stuff tonite, there is a ton of work to do with that, I got all the mp3's moved last night, so tonite is to get the old server with the new drive, format, install, and love every minute of it... I also have to get my monitor switcher out of a box because my wonderful (cheap) 19 inch monitor died, so I don't have a spare monitor at the moment, but I have my switcher so thats what I'm going to do. Sometimes I can't help but be happy I spent money on little things that I didn't use that much years ago, because now it seems I'm needing them.

20 minutes til go home time for me, weeee!

Well its official, I'm in one of those stages where no matter what I do its wrong in some way. I can't seem to get rid of this feeling that something horrible is going to happen, something that I'm not seeing or expecting and when it does come it will blindside me. I can't put my finger on this feeling but I've had it for a month now, its like this dark cloud that is just hanging around and no matter how much I squint to see the sun behind the clouds they always find a way to darken back up.

Last night I just about broke, I mean completely. I won't go into details, but its amazing how I can be content for a while, then all of the sudden something will happen that will trigger all of this frustration, letting the clouds move back in and rain on any parade I had going. This isn't really anything new actually, I just had many more things that I could distract myself with before, at the moment I don't have any distractions, its like I'm trapped with it. It's time I do something about it, beyond just finding distractions, even though they do help, so I'll start on that stuff tonite.

Only time will tell.

Is it nap time yet? I know its time for food, and relaxation... I've got a boat load of work ahead of me though. I have to download all of my MP3's off of the server here at the house, pull that drive, drop it into my old server (which is actually better than the mp3 archive) and go to town formatting and getting all the stuff I need on there for a multi-purpose development server, you know the usual, MySQL, PHP, Apache, and a few other ideas rolling around my little tiny head. Then I have to figure out what I need to do to get NAT working correctly on my wireless router / hub, then all will be just starting. I'm thinking about using SAMBA, unless I can figure out something else to use that will make life easier moving files back and forth, and I'm also thinking about using DynDNS.Org for my dns needs, just because the Cable is DHCP.

Oh ya, I weighed myself over the weekend... Either I'm completely depressed and the stress of it all is making me skinny, or something is agreeing with me out here. From 215 when I got my drivers license about a year ago, to 190 now... I'm all kinds of excited, I'll be back to skater weight before too long, then I just need to find the cash to buy one....

Back from Springfield yesterday evening, and did some chores around the house for awhile. This past weekend was fun, I apparently have become a hero to my nephew, he drives up in his imaginary car and hopes out saying "Hi I'm Uncle Pat!". He is an amazing kid, he skipped out on the learning single words, he is having conversations now at 2 years old, and just keeps growing and growing, pretty amazing.

The weather has me down today, started raining early this morning and is dark and gloomy, the sad thing is that all I can think about is the leak that is dumping water into the basement at this point. I have spent untold hours trying to find it, but so far no luck... I have my theories, but so far I haven't found the "smoking gun". Oh well...

Sleep is something I need desperately today, I couldn't get to sleep last night no matter how hard I tried, I tossed and turned, read, roamed around, tried to sleep on the floor (sometimes this helps), and still I didn't get to bed til around 2 am.... I have too many things on my mind, I can't shut it off, which in turn leads to me being stuck in a loop of insomnia that won't go away til I just fall apart and get it all out... I've done this for years, and I know what the trigger was that started it all, I just never had any resolution to it.

The Harry Potter madness was just plain wrong, nothing was right about it, hundreds of people being told to go stand in this line or that, no good direction from the employees, and it just kept getting more and more insane as the hours went by. We didn't end up getting them because it would have easily been 2 am before we walked out the door with a friggin book... completely insane. And now I find out that there were mis-prints from the printers that leave out the last 50 or so pages, basically leaving the reader destroy'd because a main character dies... after waiting so many years for it, I can't believe they are having these problems.

I'm heading out of town today, going down South to see my parents and goto the early 4th of July celeration at my girlfriends parents home. Should be a good time, I also get to stand in line at Barnes and Noble tonite with my parents to get thier reserved copy of Harry Potter. Its my own fault, I read them and bought the for my parents awhile back and they both love the series, so I shall brave the world of freaks to get them the next book... Me? Well I can wait, these things I have patience for.

Lyrics of the day :

"I can be anything that you want me to be
A punching bag, a piece of string, oh
That reminds you not to think

I found the note down in your car
And its not your fault it gets this hard
Gets this hard

Hold your head high
Don't look down
I'm by your side
Won’t back down
You wanted a hero tonight

Well I'm not made of steel
I'm not made of steel
But your secrets safe with me

I can be anything that you want me to be
A holy cross, some sympathy, oh
That reminds you not to bleed

I found the note down in your car
And you climbed up here to fall apart
Fall apart

Hold your head high
Don't look down
I'm by your side
Won’t back down
You wanted a hero tonight

Well I'm not made of steel
I'm not made of steel
But your secrets safe with me

No...
Your secrets safe with me

They knock you down
I'll pick you up...
They laugh at you
I’ll shut them up

But I'm not made of steel
But I'm not made of steel
But I'm not made of steel
But your secrets safe with me
Yeah
Your secrets safe with me
But yeah

Hold your head high
Don't look down
I'm by your side
Won’t back down
You wanted a hero tonight"

Made of Steel - Our Lady Peace

An open letter to the woman I love,

I apologize for disappointing you in so many ways, sometimes this life becomes overwhelming, and I don't know how to deal with it. I know things aren't as bad as they seem to me at my moments of weakness, and I know that the future holds many more things that I can't even imagine at this point, many joyous things. Sometimes I lose track of what it is that I have, the many gifts that I have been given in my life, things that are with me to this day, and things from my past that I carry around with me, even if I don't acknowledge them on the daily bases. I understand the fear that is involved in our lives, the hard work that goes into living every day, the struggles that come from unexpected places, and the love that has been shared in so many ways over the years.

I know that I have made my mistakes, and I would be stupid to believe that I won't make them again. I hope that you can be understanding and forgive me.

-Patrick

Okay, here we go...

As most of you know, in the last few months I moved to Kansas City, after spending many years in Los Angeles. This was for a number of reasons, family, cost of living, etc... But the reason that some of you don't know is that I moved out here to find myself again. In Los Angeles, I got into the mode where "work" was what mattered, and at times it over-powered everything else that I had in my life. I know that I made mistakes with my relationships, I know that I'll never be really good at them, but thats all part of it right? No one can be perfect.

Well in this finding myself I have had time to discover what it is that is important to me, the things that I haven't had, or have forgotten about, or ignored. I spent so much time trying to be the 50's style male, you know, go to work, come home, bring home the bacon, pet the dog, smoke the pipe, (an image of the Bob Dobbs type comes to mind). I lost track of the things that should have been important, too many things that should have been on the top of the list fell down, lower and lower as the years went by. I then found myself extremely depressed, and un-happy at everything, my relationships, my job, my home, my family, pretty much everything. I hate to admit that, but its the truth.

So I have moved out here to try and understand more about what it is that makes me happy, believe it or not I know much more now than I ever have before. I guess its all that idea that people go and climb mountains, and "test" themselves to see what they are really made of, or to clear out the garbage and get to the bare bones of what this life is all about, instead of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, I moved to the mid-west, if you have ever lived here there are some similarities. Well I'm by far not done with this process, (I'm probably a far cry from it sadly), but I'm doing it.

Eye's aren't being kind to me this morning, not enough sleep for this camper.

I have so much on my mind today / tonite... Where does one start?

Work is going crazy on my skinny(?) ass at the moment, I'm liking it more and more as the day's go by, I have no-one to blame but myself for whats going on there, I asked for it... I really did in fact, I told my boss that there wasn't enough work for me, which in hind-site was the right thing to do, but as of today I'm getting more things I'm responsible for every other day. Needless to say I'm getting mildly over-whelmed with everything, leave it to me to open my mouth ... and insert foot ... Yes I'm living in a cube village, yes its a "corp" job, yes the paperwork to do the minor-est of tasks is alittle annoying. But honestly I'm in a position to make change in things, after such a short time at the job, I already have people faith in my opinions, which makes me feel much better about it. So I'm not that bad there, I just have to sort through the many things that I have in my brain about it, and get to it.

Lots and lots of memories behind this song;

"Flowers in the springtime
October we were wed
Winter time the roses died
you turned to me and said...

I want to love, but it comes out wrong
I want to live, but i don't belong
I close my eyes and I see blood and roses"

Blood and Roses - the Smithereens

Good Morning! I slept like the dead last night, and it seems funny to me that I talk about this exact thing often here, sleep, dreams, and well thats pretty much it lately... So here we go with some geek.

I got this quote from Will who apparently got it from Fark :

Jessica Sommers (product manager for Microsoft's Macintosh Business Unit) said Apple is in a better position to create a browser with more features and that offers a smoother experience because "Apple has access to functionality in the [operating system] that Microsoft doesn't." She added, " They can do things because they're developing on their own [operating system] that we as a third-party programmer can't do."

Does this make sense? Well actually it does, since OSX came out I felt pretty certain that Micro$oft would start shying away from different things for Apple, now here are my reasons why :

1) They don' t want to have to create a division just for the BSD based OSX.
2) They are projecting thier own model of software design (integrating everything they can into the OS to make it impossible to get rid of it) on Apple.
3) They are just plain dumb.

I know I'm on the OS soap box, but give me a break.I'm currently using Windoze XP to post this blog, and when I get to work I'm on XP again, but I will be logging into numberous Solaris, Linux, and AIX boxen to get my job done. I don't mind Windoze for the simple stuff, but when it comes to stable, predictable, and all around better application server OS's look to a *NIX.

Lyrics -

"Hope you remember me,
when you're homesick and need a change.
I miss your purple hair,
I miss the way you taste.

I know you'll come back someday,
on a bed of nails I'll wait.
I'm praying that you don't burn out,
or fade away.

All we are is all so far

You're falling back to me,
the star that I can't see.
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there."

Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace

Man I hate dreams... When I was younger I used to have dreams that were cartoons, everything about them was just silly, and didn't make a ton of sense all in all, but they were harmless. For some reason after moving to college, then to Los Angeles, I stopped remembering my dreams, so they didn't bother me at all. Now for some reason since I've moved back to Missouri I'm remembering them. They aren't the cartoons anymore, they are real life drama's, I guess my subconscious is telling me more now than it ever has before. I don't know what anyone else thinks, but its my opinion that dreams are the subconscious just dumping away extra crap from the day, week, month, ... life... but there are those times when it starts screaming at you, times where its telling you what you aren't seeing in the world at that moment... I'm having the latter lately.

To top it all off this weekend didn't really seem like a full weekend, felt like one day kinda thrown in... I didn't want to get to sleep last night because I didn't want the weekend to stop...

On another note... I'm going to finish up my coffee, and try and wake up a little more.

Today's Lyrics ...

"I'm gonna get a new tattoo
black and stretching around my arm
like a life that is visable and real
I know, I know it's stupid
and immature
I just want to give shape to the face
that twists inside
both you and me"

EverClear - The Twistinside

Well most of the formatting issues are fixed, gotta test on some other browsers, I did this using IE, and Opera, just to have some kind of sense o fwhat other browsers would look like, I need to fire up the old linux laptop in a bit and test on Mozilla... that should be a hoot!

I'm off to get something to eat, and maybe spend some time outside...

Putting up the new site, and there are a few bugs so bear with me, just a few little formatting things, and then I'm on to the playlist, and other misc pieces.

Lyrics 'o' the day:

"Though these wounds have seen no wars
Except for the scars I have ignored
And this endless crutch, well it’s never enough
It’s been the Worst Day Since Yesterday"

Flogging Molly - The Worst Day Since Yesterday

I'm doing some serious thinking of re-designing this site, I want to use CSS pretty completely, no more HTML tables. I have this design idea in my brain, and have roughed it out in photoshop, I think it will work out for me, I just have to figure out how to make it happen (I understand CSS and all that, but I always try and push myself alittle further everytime I redesign my site, this current design was basically a quick and dirty one months and months ago to stop gap my poor follow through on my own sites). I also want to figure out a simple way to update my playlist again, since I'm not running my site from my home anymore (I used to in Los Angeles) I need to figure out an easy way to add in Artists, and Albums, maybe something in PHP... hrmmm... ideas are coming to me quickly. Today being Saturday, I'm probably going to just work on that, I think I might try and see if my laptop will work from outside, if it stay's as pretty outside today as it is right now that is.

I have decided that in a way to try and keep myself posting on the daily bases, I'm going to post the lyrics, or atleast part of the lyrics to a song that is descibing my mood at that moment, I hope to have this happen just about everyday (well we shall see on weekends).

"I've spent days and nights in my bedroom
Trying to write the perfect song to sing to you
Write a song a day but she won't like it anyway
Back to the drawing board
With the words you've heard a million times before"

Mest "Drawing Board"

Home for lunch, sandwich and chips are always the menu, watch the first 15 minutes of the Farscape I TIVO'd from last night, put the dishes in the washer, come down here and smoke a couple of cigerettes before I head back to work... everyday... everyday.... Yup thats me all exciting!

Anyone else need a vacation from their lives? I'm not talking about just getting away from your physical surroundings for a bit, and seeing some silly touristy thing, I'm talking about leaving your body and mind behind for awhile, not long maybe just a day or so, just to feel what its like to not be me. Its not like everything is falling apart around me, actually things are pretty good, nothing to stressful, still broke from getting out of debt but I'm really close with a ton of the small debt's I had hanging over my head, and the move really got me into back bill hell... After the small comes just a small amount of larger debt's, then I'm done, scott free and should never get another phone call from a collector. Nope things aren't that bad, but I still would like to not be me for a day, there just seem's to be an under-lying stress about me and my life recently.

Anyway's it time to finish my coffee and smoke another cigarette before I go into work.

Oh ya, Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

Well this is interesting, I get the whole email thing solved, except for one thing.... I can't connect to the POP server at all, so I got ahold of them again and they re-created the issue, so now I'm in the waiting mode of.... well can I try it now? How about now? .... maybe now? Well they decided to move it up in the ranks to figure out what the issues are.. so I'm stuck with a web interface to my vast amount of spam, and old machines I never logged into to turn off the postmaster mails from... sometimes I wonder where my head is, then I realize and I shut up before anyone else notices.

I'm getting sleepy... very sleepy.. maybe its time to go to bed... Oh it rained like crazy here tonite, had lots of lightening and thunder, Whoooo HoooOOOoo!!! After so many years of not being around it, I love it, then again in a few months I'll hate it and wish it was just hot / dry / windy like it was in Los Angeles, well atleast my little section of the Valley anyways.

Time to sleep

And the crowd goes wild! The mail is fixed... I actually can track back to the 3rd of this month as to when it died, I just didn't think anyone cared to mail me anymore, but when I realized all of the spam had stopped too.... well lets just say that I wasn't pleased. But that is what you get when you run your own for so long, and then hand it off to someone else to deal with.... Now I'm getting spam, and a few other mails!

Well I'm currently mailing my hosting company to try and figure out why I haven't received email in day's, I'm not even getting spam at my riotgeek account, which is amazing since I've had this domain for years, and I always get something.

I slept last night, too hard, but atleast I slept.

You know I fugred out something, the more I'm left alone and don't do much of anything, the more I think about my life and where I've been / where I'm heading. Let me tell you, the more I'm left to think about it, the more annoying it seem's.

Well I couldn't get to sleep last night either... my body for some reason has decided to be tired through the day, and not at night. So I laid in bed for a couple of hours and finally fell asleep only to wake up at 4:00 freaking in the A.M. finally get back to sleep and the alarm went off. Yup folks I'm "living the dream"! Oh well another day on around 4 hours of sleep, "that which does not kill me, can only make me stronger" but much more of this and I'll be a sleep deprived little monster dried up in the corner of my cubicle at work... ha! I even got visuals from that! Could also be that I've started taking a Claritin knock-off to try and defeat my allergies, my brother-in-law has hell-a allergies and he started taking it, he basically said that I had to take it for 7 to 10 day's before I start seeing any thing different, well I'm at 10 day's now and I haven't figured out what's so different... Then again the lack of sleep always makes me feel like my allergies make me feel.

They have started showing the Farscapes on Sci-Fi that I hadn't seen before, so with my little TIVO whirring away ever night, I get an hours worth of bliss to watch, don't ask me why but I really love that show, I hope it gets picked up by someone, I'll even get Showtime if it goes there.

Oh well, time to suck down the rest of this cup of coffee and get moving to work.

You know I started out this year with one thing in mind, "Its *my* year", the year I get what I want out of this life, the year I make things happen for me. Well ofcourse one of my big steps was moving back to Missouri... Well I will admit, the panic is gone from that, and down to earth I came. I lost my goal this year somewhere along the way, but as of today, I'm back at it. Yes I have a decent job, and a good life, I make decent cash, and I'm getting out of debt. Things are really looking up beyond what my head has been telling me as of late. So I'm back in the saddle, and its all about spending the next 6 months making it my year.

more on this later, time for me to sleep the sleep of the dead.

I stayed up much too late last night, my body doesn't like this at all... I guess I'm not 20 years old anymore. I'm still not thinking straight today, too many things on my mind... Anyone else ever had so many things on your mind you can't seem to focus on one single thing? Talk about annoying.

Well here is is 5:22am west coast time, and I'm sitting here having a cigerette before I leave for work... lah lah lah lah lah!

Today is a beautiful day outside, blue sky's with white puffy clouds all around. I hope I can find something to do outside today, maybe even just read but we shall see.

Yup it might be time to change blogging software,

"Microsoft OLE DB Provider for ODBC Drivers error '80004005'

[Microsoft][ODBC SQL Server Driver][TCP/IP Sockets]SQL Server does not exist or access denied.

//global.asa, line 15"

I can't believe I paid for something that is actually running on a Micro$oft SQL Server... well it was cheap atleast.

I have to admit its pretty cool to live so close to work that I can come home and have lunch everyday, and not feel in a panic to eat and get back to work. Its relaxing in a way to come home, smoke a smoke, pet a kitty, eat alittle, get my head on straight, and then go back for another 4 hours at the office. You know that brings me to this, the company I work for is large, etc... (I won't go into the details here)... But when they ask me to come in early, or stay alittle late its *way* different than other places in Los Angeles. I mean they act as if they owe me to stay late, its weird... I'm not used to that at all, I'm used to being expected to stay no matter how long or what its about, well its weird, and great all at the same time.

I'm learning WebSphere at the moment, seem's okay, but then again I've never had an entire team of Java developers before either... so I wouldn't have ever really had a use for it. The only problems I'm having with it is that everything is GUI driven, and those that know me know that is a no no for me. I'd rather be sitting at a shell prompt going to town than pointing and clicking.... I guess it all comes down to really knowing whats going on, instead of having the Bill Gates method of hiding whats happening behind a calm image of clouds, or the Willy Wonka Candy like animations flashing back and forth.

To Jeff : I was bored too... Jason and I both have that in common, when extremely bored... shave your head...

Blech, have to get up earlier than usual and get to work early.... If anyone of you hears from the company you are working for that they want to use the SAP Portal called "Insite" run for the hills boys and girls. Lots of money, and nothing but problems.

So I'm thinking about just using my laptops now at home, and maybe turn my desktop into a file server for the network. Honestly I think this may be the best way to go, Samba my linux-boxen into the mix, and it should all work out pretty nicely. My Windoze laptop has more horse power than my desktop at the moment so I'm really considering it.

Oh well... time to smoke one last cigerette before I leave to work.

And yes Jeff, the hair is short, and scarey... I used a #4 on the shaver all over the head, heh.

Well, isn't it funny that it crosses my mind to post about every month.... blech, I need to get back into the swing of things. So here is the update. My car still isn't fixed, my insurance company wants to sue Jiffy Lube but I have to get my car fixed so they have some legs to stand on, one can only hope that I will be able to do that soon. I hate Jiffy Lube (there is a suprise). I decided that I needed to super organize my office yesterday, and I got about half the way done, tonite the other half shall fall to the mighty organization bug that has bitten me.

I have actually been having dreams as of late, now to most of you this might not seem like a big deal, but I haven't actually had a dream and remembered them in years... My nitely brain dump has been blissfully hidden from me, but lately, well lets just say I'd much rather be in the dark. My dreams are really twisted, lots of uncomfortable stuff going on, even to the point of waking me up a couple times a night. Oh well... as I've always said, sleep is for light weights.

I chopped off all of my hair, broke out the shaver and went to town awhile back, kinda strange feeling, but in a good way.

Ummm... I'm sure there is more, I'll post it as I think about it.